Help Meet?

I love relationship books, really I do. So, a couple of months ago, my darling husband selected this book from my Amazon wish list as a surprise gift for me. He chose this one because we both had heard it is rather controversial, even among believers, and, frankly, we wondered what all the fuss was about. Well, now I understand.

 Here is my take so far:
I'm about half way through the book (despite the fact that I am a fast reader and did I mention I love relationship books?, it has been grueling simply getting this far). Despite the mixed reviews, I fully expected to like the book, and to hopefully glean some applications for my own marriage. But truthfully, I'm really not enjoying it, and not because it's convicting or boring (it's been neither of those things). First and foremost I'm finding the writing style abrasive to the point of rudeness- there's something to be said about speaking the truth in love; Ms. Pearl instead comes across as arrogant, brusque, and provocative; I can almost imagine her scowling and waggling her finger in the reader's face. This is regretful since much of what she has to say seems scripturaly sound, truthful, and thought provoking (particularly helpful is the section on the different types of men: command-man, visionary, and steady). In this case, however, the means trump the message, and I'm finding it's just not worth it. I know that ultimately the style in which a book is written is not as important as its content, but when the reader finds herself fuming not over what the author is saying but how the author says it, there's a bit of a problem.

While there are other things I dislike about the book (such as all of her examples of what a perfect wife she is and the almost outlandish letters she includes), one thing that left me completely incredulous occurred in chapter 13: Ms. Pearl narrates the experience of a girl who impetuously married a guy who at one point in their marriage tried to stab her (and their unborn child) to death. The author commended the girl for staying with her husband, who eventually repented and adored her and they lived happily ever after or whatever. I suppose I have a hard time believing that Ms. Pearl applauded the girl for her actions (granted, it apparently  all turned out okay in the end) when not only was she putting her life at risk in staying with her husband, but also those of their three children! Maybe if it were just her, but I do not think it's okay that she stayed with an extremely violent, aggressive, drunk when her children were endangered, and the author seems to think this makes her an exemplary wife (wife, maybe, but I sure wouldn't give her the mother of the year award- good grief). Ms. Pearl did not council the woman to stay (she told her either to leave him once and for all or to commit to try to win him back), but she obviously thought the girl made the right choice.

Anyway, I'm going to plow through the rest of the book (I'll write another review when I finish)- I think it may be getting better now that she's starting on the practical tips on creating a particular home environment and the like.

While I have some issues with this book, I know some of you have read it and feel quite differently than I; some of you even found it life changing, and I want to be sensitive to that.

What do you think of the book? Love it? Loathe it? On the fence? I'd love to hear your opinions...

Blue Spruce

I am a tree girl. I just simply prefer trees to shrubs and bushes. Of all the trees in the world, my very favorite is the blue spruce:

Really, I don't know if there's anything more satisfying than a well-formed blue spruce. They do a wonder for my soul. And, it's really, really entertaining to say "blue spruce" multiple times in a row, in a kind of low voice: "blue spruce, blue spruce, blue spruce, blue spruce!" Yep, kind of sounds like "Bruce Bruce." Try it next time you're feeling blue!

A Delicious Update

We Bowens have been eating well the last couple of weeks. Are are a few culinary highlights:

Meatball subs for our Young Marrieds Group: they turned out well and were entirely satisfying!

One of our favorite chicken recipes, also from The Taste of Home.

Yesterday I finally cooked our Thanksgiving turkey...turkeys are intimidating, but it turned out really well! Blake and I celebrated by having turkey-pepperjack sandwiches on sourdough; they were fabulous. Today I had my all time favorite sandwich, turkey, havarti, cranberry, and romaine. I'm making homemade turkey stock and we're having turkey-sausage gumbo for dinner tonight, per Blake's request, which is something new for me (gumbo, not listening to Blake).

I also made some homemade salsa verde today with some Mexicany ingredients from our last bountiful baskets (tomatillos, garlic, onion, tomato, lime juice, and cilantro). I'll slow cook it with a pork roast on Wednesday!

Finally, I leave you with these little masterpieces: maple cupcakes, with maple butter cream frosting and candied bacon on top. They were unbelievably good, if I do say so myself. I know the whole bacon dessert thing is very trendy right now, but it seemed a perfect sweet-salty combo to try out for a Bible study snack. I thought people would be suspicious of them, but instead they embraced them with gusto. I'll definitely be making them again!
I got the cupcake recipe here, the frosting here, and to make the candied bacon, I just sprinkled the bacon with brown sugar before baking.

A Tiny, Little Secret

I have an embarrassing confession (no, not the fact that without fail I rely on the spell checker for help with"embarrassing"). This secret is much worse. Okay, here it comes: I have a strange fascination with the Miss America pageant. And Miss Universe. No, I don't watch them play out on TV. I actually don't follow them at all. But I love to go to their web page and read the contestant profiles. I don't know why, but reading their responses to the interview questions (and of course seeing what evening gown they chose) can captivate me for a good hour or more. Maybe I'm looking for a spark of transparency among the predictable answers. Maybe I'm trying to imagine what different circumstances influenced each girl as she decided that this was worth pursuing. Maybe the cynic in me is assuming that the winners are all but chosen before the event takes place, and I wonder if the flawless faces peering at me from under their moody, lowered lids have fooled themselves to thinking they have a chance. Or, maybe I'm just captivated by the glamor and sparkle.

If I were a sociologist, maybe I would study these things. Or maybe I would study the crazies like myself who occasionally succumb to their allure.

While I'm at it, I'll admit to another guilty pleasure: going to a website like People.com the day after a big awards ceremony (is that what they're called? Last night was the Golden Globes) and clicking through the gallery of the best dressed actresses. I just love to see the beautiful gowns (and turn up my nose at the horrid ones). Apparently brooches are the adornment of choice this year- who would have guessed?

These actions puzzle my dear husband, and I can't explain myself to him. Maybe it's like him checking insurance quotes for cars we'll probably never be able to afford; I'll never be 5'10, and I'll likely never again have the occasion to wear an impossibly beautiful gown or have my words scrutinized by the world, but....I don't know. I can't explain it.

Tired- check. Grumpy- check. Uninspired- check. Yep, it's time for the weekend.
Blake worked long hours almost everyday this week, and he has to work half days both Saturday and Sunday. I need a good novel to read.

Here are some things that are aggravating me today:

1. The rug in front of the sink will not lie flat and I trip over it at least 4,289 times a day.
2. I'm not sure if the verb should be "lie" or "lay" in number one.
3. I ate too much maple butter cream frosting and now my teeth hurt.
4. Speaking of teeth, I have a toothache and I don't want to call the dentist because I know he'll hurt me.
5. It has been 50 degrees and sunny and the rest of the country is getting lovely storms.
6. I have worn just about everything in my closet today and each thing looked dumber than the last.
7. I had to pick out all the little slimeys from the package of lettuce- disgusting.

But because I'm vowing to try to improve my disposition, here are some happy thoughts:

1. Date night with Blake last Wednesday to Cafe Ole, one of my favorites!
2. Rory got her first tooth! I think that's a good thing anyway...
3. My sister is coming to visit soon!
4. I have comfy new slippers.
5. Some good friends shared some great news.
6. Did I mention it's almost the weekend?

A new baby (blog, that is)

As a supplement to Being the Bowens, I've added a blog to the family:

This new blog is devoted to one of my passions: names! The main reason for this is in effort to stop making Blake's eyes glaze over when I go through one of my name fits and he has to hear me rant and rave about something he (understandably) cares very little about. So check it out!

Under Construction Etc.

Wow. I consider myself a fairly capable person when it comes to computers, but trying to update the format of this blog has me stumped. I think it has something to do with the settings on the computer, and I make it a habit to never dabble in the settings. Hopefully this week Blake can help me get a handle on it; until then, bear with me!

Today has been one of those nice stay-at-home days: diapers are washed and stuffed, laundry is being done, I finished reading for book club (Mudhouse Sabbath by Lauren Winner), placed my Bountiful Baskets order, kept my baby alive and happy, had a friend over for lunch, baked cookies on a whim, had dinner (baked french toast) ready for the oven by 8am, took out the trash and recycling, and I'm sure I'll accomplish some other trivial little things (in a couple minutes I can cross: "update blog" off the list!). It's overcast and chilly (I thrive in this weather), Blake will get home in an hour, and I'm looking forward to a cozy evening watching The West Wing.

Rory, bless her little heart, slept from 8pm until 6:35 this morning. For the first six months of her life, I stressed about not really setting a schedule for her. Granted, Blake and I live pretty spontaneously, and a strict schedule would not have meshed well with our lives, but I read so many places that the best parents get their babies to nap, eat, and go to bed at roughly the same time everyday. We tried that, really we did. One night I dutifully put Aurora down to sleep before 9, and she promptly began to scream. And scream.  Some babies cry themselves to sleep. Others cry themselves to hysteria. Rory falls into the latter category. After 45 minutes of manic, frenzied shrieking, Blake and I (both close to tears ourselves) determined that we were not going to be able to let her "cry it out." So  we let her stay up until 10 (or 11) if she needed to, and trusted that one day she would sleep like a proper baby. And now she does! A little before 6 months hit, Rory began to set a bedtime for herself. And a nap time (or two!!!). Some nights she gets up once, but a lot of nights she sleeps through! And we didn't have to battle her! There's enough flexibility in her "schedule" that I can still run errands as long as we're back between a certain time window, and if she's an hour late getting to bed at night, she's okay. Our baby girl is growing up!

In other news, since I'm not taking a class at NAU this semester, I'm looking for a place to volunteer where I can speak Spanish with native speakers. I have a few leads with organizations offering adult literacy classes, and I could see myself enjoying doing that a few hours a week. The jerky I made in the dehydrator was "so awesome," according to Blake, but I'm sad to say my fruit leather actually turned out to be "fruit brittle." Who knew something so "easy" would take such finesse?

But, I'm not letting my fruit brittle get me down: my baby is blowing raspberries, a box of books came in the mail, a good friend just had a baby, and I have a dozen other reasons to smile!

Happy Monday!

Post Holiday Letdown

I started putting away Christmas today. This is not nearly as exciting as putting it up. It means Christmas is a whole year away. It means it's still months until I can get out spring decorations. It means it's the start of a new year, and funnily, while normally I'm a raging optimist, I always start a new year with a sense of apprehension.

Blake is back at work today after a four day weekend (more on that in a second) and it looks like he'll have a lot of overtime for the foreseeable future (good for the budget but we'd rather be poor and see more of each other). So, instead of moping and complaining, I'm determined to make the most of his hours away and increase my around the house productivity (when Rory allows me to, that is!). Today I initiated my new dehydrator: diced and sliced onions and beef jerky! Tomorrow comes the fruit leather! Seeing Blake's enthusiasm for the jerky at lunch made it all worth it, and since I recently discovered his hidden passion for fruit leather, I know I can brighten his day tomorrow as well.

We had such a wonderful weekend together- I really wish he could just stay home and hang out with me all the time! We spent a lot of time at his parents' house since his sister was up for a couple days. We went to the 10pm pine cone drop in subzero temperatures (sans baby, of course!) and managed to stay up until midnight! Other highlights include watching at least a dozen episodes of the West Wing (which Blake has gotten me addicted to), going out for breakfast, a rousing game of Trivial Pursuit, and Blake getting to see a guy movie (True Grit) with his dad. We were so sad when this morning came!

Despite the end of the holidays, there's so much coming this spring and summer to look forward to, mostly babies and weddings! And so, even though I'm boxing up ornaments and even though my house reeks of onion, God is faithful and good and I'm moving ahead confidently into 2011!